Being the Chancellor of the Confederation Of Democratic Simulators (CDS) is a lot of work. Those who have taken on its’ mantle should be applauded and thanked.
There is very little recompense in that job. No pay, little expressed gratitude (just the opposite from what I’m told) and at this late date almost no chance of leaving your own imprint upon the CDS.
What that job lacks in pay it makes up for in time (that it demands), what it lacks in gratitude it makes up for in stress and duplicitous BS and dramas that must be waded through or resolved.
I have not been Chancellor, tho I have run a failed campaign. I considered the job for months before taking the plunge and running (initially deciding against it, then reading Rosie’s eloquent post and changing my mind).
The campaign went well, but regardless I lost. Receiving less than a dozen votes I can only look at the results as a statement of no-confidence in both my ability to perform the job, and in my vision of the future …I have to see it as a disagreement with my goals.
In short; what I’m selling the CDS ain’t buyin.
That doesn’t just sting, I’ll be honest ..it kicks like a mule. I had expected Rosie to win and she is the better candidate. Regardless, I am hurt by the lack of support that I received (in terms of votes and otherwise).
As the title says …I am petulant and my pride is bruised…but I’m still standing. This entry isn’t just to bitch and whine, however. I have a more practical reason for it …it’s a note to my future self, a reminder.
We will reach another point in the future (fall 2018 elections? Spring 2019?) where there are no candidates to run for Chancellor …and I’ll be tempted to run. And to do so would be a very, very bad idea.
I am writing this to remind my future self of what I feel now, and to point out that having an office is not the same as having a mandate. If I can only win by running unopposed, that is not a win.
And if I do not have a mandate and genuine support that means the stress and frustration that goes with the job are simply not worth it.
Particularly since I will receive no joy in exchange for taking on that heavy burden. I will leave no mark nor implement any meaningful changes.
I have asked if folks support me, and I have gotten my answer -in the negative.
I have to accept that answer and move forward and either find or create a different avenue to channel my hopes and my ambitions into. On that level, I’ve got nothing coming from the CDS.
I am not leaving the CDS, however. I have paid my tier several months in advance, and I am happily on the Estate management team …and when I’m inworld I will make myself available to help out.
At the same time, I am beginning to lay the groundwork of a project where I will be able tangibly bring about many parts of the platform I ran on. Obviously this will be outside of the context of the CDS’ government (so things such as government hour don’t apply). But other parts of my platform will go forward.
As I lay the groundwork, I am putting out feelers and looking for participants and ideas. I don’t know when we’ll begin (I am giving this 6 months to take shape, tho I expect it’ll be much less) but when we begin …it will be on my property in the CDS.